Category Archives: movies/tv

A Cake Made of Rats

This has to be the oldest news around, but’s new to me anyway: watching “The Women of Candy Snatchers” featurette on the Candy Snatchers DVD, and Tiffany Bowling kind of asides that she was in that old series “The New People,” which she says is Lost, now. So, checked IMDb, and yep:

A group of young people crash land on a deserted island that was a never used atomic bomb test site. With the world thinking that they were all killed, “The New People” set out to form a civilization free from the problems and mistakes that their parents made, a task that soon becomes much more challenging than they had anticipated.

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And today’s links are . . .

  • Old MadTV & Saw fun
  • French X-Files
  • If I’d had the clicks to make a trailer for Demon Theory, it would have looked like the child of this and this and definitely this. But there’d have been a good deal of this as well, of course.
  • And, talking DT, this, cribbed (it took about fifty toggles back and forth) from that Going to Pieces:

    “If you try to make a horror film where somebody says ‘I don’t know what that sound was but I’ll go investigate,’ if somebody in the room doesn’t say ‘Well that’s from Halloween‘ or whatever, then it becomes false.”

    –Sir Wes Craven

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    What I’ve Learned from Horror, &etc

    or, more particularly, from DEAD SILENCE: going to the Guignol ‘doll’ Theater on Lost Lake in a town called Raven’s Fain when there’s a killer on the loose who eats living tongues is pretty much just asking for trouble. This isn’t to say DEAD SILENCE isn’t pretty surprisingly good either, though. I’m not really one for doll-movies — they all kind of smack of Chucky, and I was tired of him instantly (though, just because I’m scared, I’d never badmouth that twisty-armed POLTERGEIST doll) — and those familiar SAW cheekbones in the trailer weren’t especially promising (though I have dug all the SAWs), but, anyway, it’s not like BEHIND THE MASK or HATCHET is soon to open at my local Cinemark, so DEAD SILENCE it was. And it did about everything right, too, I thought. Which I guess is the sum-total of my non-review, yeah, except to note that the bad Olds in DEAD SILENCE is the second one this year, right? Didn’t the C. Thomas Howell kid in THE HITCHER remake drive one too? The saddest moments in all these movies are always when the car gets it. I mean, when all it was doing was being cherry, sleeping, carrying those scenes which would have otherwise been kind of boring.

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    In my movie, should anybody ever let me make one:

  • if anybody’s carrying a bag of groceries, it won’t have French bread in it
  • nobody will flick playing cards into and around a trashcan or hat
  • if the characters need to hack into somebody’s computer, the password will be unguessable
  • if there’s some big and final showdown on a boat, then it won’t be finally decided with a flare gun
  • if somebody cuts their wrists in the bathtub, there won’t be a lit candle there
  • if there’s a detective of any kind in my story, then he won’t keep a bottle of bourbon in his drawer
  • nobody will say “in English, please”
  • if someone throws up then the amount they throw up will be more than a mouthful
  • if there’s a slam-dunk, it’ll be one continuous shot rather than cutting to above the rim
  • if voice-over is used, then we’ll get to ‘see’ that voice-overer at the end
  • if there are aliens, then they’ll be neither bipedal nor bilaterally symmetrical
  • the news broadcast won’t immediately deliver exactly what my characters need
  • the gun won’t slide away. it’ll just land there, stay there
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    The Glass Teat

    Benson: only the good die young
    Cheers: have a good life
    “You oughtta know”: grammies
    bball–23 sick and scoring 55 or whatever
    challenger (jfk/towers)
    rockford: 50 people tell you you’re drink, maybe you oughtta lie down
    uncle jesse: only one way to go down a hill. STRAIGHT down.
    tasha yar: going back
    chrissy to jack: save air in elevator, one nostril

    pop-up video: bob seger, Screentime
    seeing myself on tv: scott, rabies

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    Everytime I search Amazon, I always end up falling into this maze of lists, each opening to more and more. And I find some cool stuff in there, thought I’d take a stab at a couple myself.

    And yeah, that Slasher 101 one really should be a ‘guide,’ but I clicked on making one of those and, man, they’re set up to let somebody write a real and true article. Which, for someone addicted to lists, isn’t nearly as fun. Granted, you don’t get as many characters/words to play with in Listmania, but that kind of keeps me from burning too much time on them too, time which I specifically, right now, need (started another novel yesterday, kind of).

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    So a while back a friend i was borrowing DVDs from asked what horror he might need to have a somewhat complete collection. I told him I’d pen him a list sooner or later. Only just now remembering this. And, yeah, two disclaimers before I even start here: 1) I’m surely forgetting as many as I’m remembering, and 2) my tastes of course kind of dictate what I remember, what I don’t. And I love slashers. Too, I started out trying to have just ten movies per decade, but, really, any deeper than 1970 and my record gets more than spotty (again, taste: Nosferatu and The Golem and Caligari and White Zombie and all those were neat and important and pretty much shaped everything to come, but still, I’d rather watch all the stuff they influenced). So I lumped the fifties and sixties together, still barely made ten there. But then the seventies and eighties, I was having to leave so much out. Anyway, no, I haven’t checked all these dates. Just kind of dartboarding them where looks good. And yeah, I’d guess I’ll go back in, edit this a bit. But of course post any obvious misses as comments; I’ll try to float them up into the main thing. And, yeah, I could make this complete just by cracking DEMON THEORY open, but I’m trying hard not to even look at it until it’s real–until it shows up leaning against my storm door. Anyway, what I came up with during what few commercials THE COLBERT REPORT had:

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    Ludovico Treatment, Demon Theory style

    Been trying to figure out what scenes/images from horror movies have become so indelibly imprinted on pop-culture that even people who don’t watch horror kind of have to know them, or at least of them. Which is to say I can’t just pick the coolest or best horror clips–the ones that imprinted me once upon a time. I mean, that’d be Freddy’s long arms from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, kid-Jason at the end of FRIDAY THE 13th, Gage cutting grandpa’s Achille’s in PET SEMETERY, John Carpenter’s spider-head thing in THE THING, how Michael was just suddenly gone at the end of HALLOWEEN, the girl in SIXTH SENSE’s tent, the floating nurse-nun in EXORCIST III, the scuttler in THE GRUDGE’s attic, the kill scene in IRREVERSIBLE, the end of DARKNESS, etc. But the whole movie audience isn’t cued into those so much, I don’t think. And no, I’m not doing best kill-scenes here either, or best gore or fight scenes or a top horror list (here, here and everywhere). Just the stuff that changed us. Or that I think might have:

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    A Sense of an Ending in THE DESCENT

    First, as this is just all about the end of THE DESCENT, then, yep, it’s just chock full of spoilers. So stop here if:

    • you’ve not seen it
    • you’re going to see it
    • and you don’t like to know how a thing’s going to end

    Not meaning to say THE DESCENT has a gimmick-ending or anything — we don’t change perspective and slowly become aware that these are just action figures in a toy bin. But the two endings it does have, in being at odds with each other, are also kind of polarizing the horror audience one way or the other, it seems.

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    Best of the Cineplex, 2006

    And I think I can say ‘cineplex’ there — none of these are really indie, or at least didn’t end up that way. And, before I even list them, the caveats: I’ve yet to catch BORAT or PAN’S LABYRINTH or APOCALYPTO or INLAND EMPIRE or CHILDREN OF MEN or THE FOUNTAIN or the BLACK CHRISTMAS remake, all of which’d be likely contenders, I suspect (and I generally duck all the snoozers, like PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION, etc (‘etc’ here meaning I don’t even know how many of these there were — I mean, I’m sure they’re good, but I’m more of the summer-movie type)). And, when I thumbnailed this list, going just on memory instead of digging around for what actually came out in 2006, man, it was a good list: BRICK, HARD CANDY, KONTROLL, KISS KISS BANG BANG. Which is to say, thankfully, happily, no CAPOTE stuff, no BROKEBACK stuff. Too, V IS FOR VENDETTA was (and is) on there, even though, like THE DESCENT and HOSTEL, IMDb has it as 2005. But it’s the USA wide-release dates that matter out here in west Texas. Too, I know, where’s THE DEPARTED, where’s BABEL, where’s THE PRESTIGE? On everybody’s else’s lists, I suppose . . .

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