Movies, 2012

Man, sat down to make this list on the last day of 2012, but stumbled into the opening line of a novel instead, and have been there ever since. 160, 170 pages in right now, and staring down that last chapter. Which, as always, is terrifying. So, to stall, here’s my list, taking into account the specific kind of loser I am—that is, one who somehow missed Final Destination 5, just because I got burned by Final Destination 4. But I should have just remembered how much I loved the first three. Now, though, FD5’s already cycled out of Redbox. So: soon, soon. Same with Innkeepers, which I keep hearing good about.

And, to sum up beforehand: no, there’s no Hot-Tub Time Machine this year. No Machete. But there was one Cabin the Woods, and that maybe counts for both of them. And, like most of these lists, I’d guess mine’s leaning towards the latter half of the year, as that’s the half I can kind of sort of remember, if I squint just right:

Best Opening Scene EVER, from ANYTHING, for ALL TIME: Rock of Ages




Coolest MacGuffin I’ve seen since Pulp Fiction: it’s in Lockout



Best Ante-Upper Since ScreamCabin the Woods




Best Combination of Gore and Pure Comedy Gold: Mon Ami



Coolest Car Since In Time: Hit & Run

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Most Intense Final Sequence: Paranormal Activity 4

(spoiler, spoiler, see the movie first)




Most SkyHigh / Scott Pilgrim under-the-radar slasher: Detention




Surprisingly Good Sequels, So Deep into the Franchise: Paranormal Activity 4, Ice Age 4 (which also wins for best song)




Best Time-Travel, by Far: Looper




Favorite Animated: Brave, Wreck-it-Ralph, Pirates




Most Righteous Kills in a Row: Django  Unchained

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