Q: If you had a time machine what would you do?A: I'd go back to all the times people asked me what I'd do if I had a time machine. I'd jump out say "I DO HAVE A TIME MACHINE, LOSER." Then leave.
— Lord Juiblex (@lordjuiblex.bsky.social) 2025-05-27T13:03:59.351Z
Dressing like a guy in Andor now. My shirt collar is also part of my jacket somehow. My tie is some kind of strap. I have two capes on.
— Ken Jennings (@kenjennings.bsky.social) 2025-05-28T03:54:27.740Z
i’m here you fuckaas bitch
— slop enjoyer (@slop.guru) 2025-05-28T23:51:01.423Z
decades-long manhunt finally ends
— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-05-29T12:29:59.707Z
Duolingo right now:youtube.com/shorts/hL9pl…
— Eleanor Morton (@eleanormorton.bsky.social) 2025-05-29T11:09:57.998Z
brian was starting to think that maybe his mom wasn’t coming back
— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-05-30T12:30:57.662Z
I was gonna delete that but now it has 4 likes so I can't~ a memoir
— captcha (@dopeshow.bsky.social) 2025-05-31T13:06:11.868Z
It’s been six months since I joined the gym and still no benefit. So I’m going there in person tomorrow to find out what the problem is.
— Mike Batt (@mikebatt.bsky.social) 2025-06-02T09:34:20.950Z
One of the funniest jokes in TV history big RIP
— Biblically Accurate Wario (@zaaack.bsky.social) 2025-06-02T16:18:39.647Z
"Morning, Jim!""Hey, Tom."
— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 2025-06-02T12:11:47.324Z
I need you all to see the hype video that this person made to sell their 1994 Geo Metro
— Soren Spicknall (@sorenspicknall.bsky.social) 2025-06-04T01:07:26.500Z
Sorry, I don't know algebra. When I was in eighth grade, a guy posed as a substitute teacher and made my class into a rock group so he could win a local battle of the bands. They made a movie about it, but they left out all the inappropriate touching.
— Haus of Decline (@hausofdecline.bsky.social) 2025-06-04T14:21:49.561Z