You might be a novelist if . . .


. . . you could never*say :

  • No, please, no — my book would make a terrible movie.
  • Actually, I never thought about if this book would outlive me or not.
  • Well, I mean, that book’s obviously better than mine. That’s the only reason it’s on the best seller list.
  • Of course I would only ever talk bad about a book I’ve read.
  • Man, if the reader doesn’t get it, that’s just all my fault.
  • Really, I think my publisher may have even spent too much on mar

The Gospel According to Demon Theory

The best place to hide from an axe-weilding maniac is with your back pressed up against a wooden door you’re pretty sure is both solid and impenetrable. This is because that maniac who’s after you, his first strike with the axe will nearly always be from two to six inches from the left side of your face, thus allowing you both to know exactly where she or he is, and thus escape into the next room, and getting the maniac’s axe caught in the door long enough for you to make that esca…

The Good, The Bad, and Demon Theory

Looks like, in pre-celebration for TURISTAS1, Demon Theory pulled two reviews this week:

  • toxic universe
  • &

  • horror-web

[ click em to hit the rvws ]

Cool places each, though the reviews are kind of opposites of each other.

Anyway, it’s none other than Mike Bracken on the Toxic Universe one. Which, I mean — for my first novel, I remember telling somebody that it would only be complete when I knew that Gerald Vizenor had read it. And then, bam, it was suddenly complete before it was even publis…

Man is in the Forest

and his freezer’s now spilling over with elk. which is to say dancing days are here again, all that.


and, because all this can’t seem to organize itself any other way, a list:

  • That 32 Poems (Fall/Winter 4.2) with my story “Lunch” is out and about now.
  • Just had “The Sadness of Two People Meeting in a Bar” accepted at Red Rock Review.
  • That end of November reading I was doing at Texas Tech has now been moved, tentatively, to March 1, 2007.
  • WORLD W

A Horror Test, A Book Review, his Wife and her Lover

Just a couple of quick links:

  • Wooden Spoon’s posted a cool Demon Theory review
  • In anticipation & celebration of Halloween, that fifth page of the Demon Theory quiz-thing‘s been very updated
  • I just last night rung that 100-page bell on the novel I started a few days ago, which has a title still probably too tentative to say, as it might lock me into it or something. Anyway, about it: the rule this time around’s that nobody can kill anybody, and there can be

Death Boobs, or Why I Read Christopher Moore

Well, I mean, yeah, because he’s got titles like THE LUST LIZARD OF MELANCHOLY COVE and PRACTICAL DEMONKEEPING. These are what originally got me peeling his books up from the shelves back whenever ago. Years already, I guess. Too, though, I’ve yet to read a CMoore book that hasn’t made me smile, and then impressed me too, somehow. Like this, from A DIRTY JOB, which I just finished ten minutes ago:

  • “Oh, goddamn,” said Minty Fresh (damn on the dow

Demon Theory footnote #522 (or so)

Of all the footnotes I cut from DEMON THEORY, there’s an OLIVER TWIST / ANIMAL HOUSE one that I maybe miss the most. There was this fun, ceramic-pig oriented Pynchon-one too though, I suppose, which scuttled through PLAYBOY and I forget all-where. And more and more. This, though, it’s one that I never actually put to paper, only considered: getting to LOST via MILLENIUM via X-FILES or something — Terry O’Quinn seems to be in about everything I like. E…

The Demon Theory / Horror IQ

Finally rigged it up, here. It’s in Javascript, so hopefully your browser’s got that turned on. No cookies, though. And, the only possible glitch I can see, really, aside from not knowing the answers, is that if you’ve got your screen-resolution set too low, then things might get a little bit hinky. Which is the first time I’ve ever used that word. And yeah, it’s not set up to take comments/corrections/answers, so, if you’ve got any, ju…

Demon Theory book trailer II: The Sequel of the Remake Attacks

like I haven’t done this with every banner etc. but, anyway, yep, polished the trailer up in a few ways, and it’s here now:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aVhs-0b5vE

I’m leaving the old one up as well, though, for those who might have preferred it.

too, am going to do one more thing (talking digiswag) for Demon Theory as well. a quiz-type thing. just still deciding whether to do it just in text, in javascript, in flash, or whether it might be fun to just mak…