I don’t write essays, but, anyway, been meaning to for a couple of years now. planned subject: all the fake throwing up in movies. it’s so insulting to me when the character leans over and hurls up some obvious mouthful of soup or something. their sides hardly contracting in dry heaves, none of that. maybe it’s just that throwing up was the one sport I could have gone olympic in, I don’t know.

won’t be writing that essay now, however, as, finally, there’s been a decent-ish throw-up on the big screen: Cusack in THE ICE HARVEST. it’s more than a mouthful. and then it takes a bit to recover. for me, that’s the kind of stuff that can make a movie.

too, though, I do seem to remember something about throwing up in IRREVERSIBLE. could have just been whoever was in the room with me at the time.

anyway, aside from SNL’s sleeve-hose throw-up fests, which I never can get enough of, or the big pie eating revenge thing in STAND BY ME, my favorite throwing up in a movie’s early on in THE GREAT SANTINI, where Duvall pretends to chuck up a whole can of pea soup or something, then his cohorts get down and lick it up. cool trick.

as for the only movie to ever make me throw up: whichever Austin Powers it was where, in the lab, Austin sips from Fat Bastard’s fecal sample. though the dog-turd eating in AMERICAN WEDDING really pushed me a lot farther than I wanted to go. and that JACKASS episode where they smuggled a couple of dog turds onto some plate of Chinese food, and asked the waiter about it. have to stop writing this now.

Author: SGJ